


He Went Back

by MythicalCypressWater



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Guilty Steve Rogers, Horrible summary, One Shot, Sad, Sad!Steve, guilty!Steve, i dont know why i wrote this, sad Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 09:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythicalCypressWater/pseuds/MythicalCypressWater
Summary: Steve Rogers did his part in avenging the world. He was tired and his very soul ached with pain. So he did the only thing he could think of that might just relieve him.





	He Went Back

He went back.

He went back.

He went back.

God, _yes, _he went back.

Steve Rogers, the man before his time.

He was tired.

He was tired.

He was so god damned _tired._

Steve Rogers avenged the world every time it needed avenging. He fought inhuman battles and out of this world opponents. And he _won. _Well, his team and him won. But that was gone and he was more broken than he had ever been before.

The first chip in his heart had happened so long ago. So forsakenly long ago.

James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes.

Best friends on both the playground and the battle field. That's what the museum said. It failed to say, however, that Bucky fell off a train, plunged into the cold, frigid whiteness of the snow and mountains because Steve wasn't good enough. 

It failed to mention that Steve had nightmares every night. Sometimes it was just the scene playing over and over again like a broken radio. Other times, his brain found amusement in dragging Steve down to the bottom of the mountains to show him crimson blood like spilled ink seeping into the powder-like snow. Limbs mutilated. Arms and legs bent at unnatural angles.

But Bucky was alive and he was fine.

Mostly.

Just like that chip in his heart had been restored.

Mostly.

Guilt still tore at his gut like a hellhound.

Years and years, decade stacked upon cold decade later, the next chunk was tore from Steve's heart.

Peggy Carter.

The British badass he met at army training. The women who saw him when he was small and weak. The women who did not care for his muscles, but the goodness in his heart.

She was aged greatly by the time Steve was defrosted like leftovers. And she was married. And she had Alzheimer's. And then she died. Actually died. 

There was no coming back. 

And who had comforted Steve as he stood there wallowing in his sorrow?

Natasha Romanoff.

But she was gone too.

She sacrificed herself for everyone and everything in the world because she was a good person and she cared.

And he had done nothing.

Natasha Romanoff. A woman who had suffered much and had wanted nothing more than penance for the sins of her past.

A woman who hardly thought she was worth a dime but meant so god damn much to Steve.

They couldn't even bury her. Couldn't give her a proper funeral because her body was unreachable. Mutilated and broken just like Bucky's had been in his nighttime terrors.

But Steve pushed on because he still had a role in saving the universe.

The final tear.

Tony Stark. 

The arrogant son of Howard and Maria Stark (oh how their deaths had hurt him too). Misunderstood and had most likely died thinking Steve hated him.

Steve roped him back in.

And Tony saved the world. He built and perfected the time machine. He made the gauntlet. He snapped his fingers.

Pepper. Oh poor Pepper. And Morgan. Young little Morgan who didn't quite understand why daddy wouldn't come home to play with her anymore, just that he couldn't.

Yes, Tony Stark sacrificed himself for everyone and everything multiple times and then he made the ultimate sacrifice. The one that would avenge the world.

And Steve Rogers was done.

The legacy of Captain America safely passed down to Sam Wilson. 

Bucky and Sam finally friends.

So Steve went back.

It was the only thing short of death that would heal his aching soul.

So Steve Rogers, the man before his time, went back.


End file.
